Trusting After Trauma - Redefining Relationships After Parental Narcissistic Abuse starts tomorrow! Here’s how to get the most out of this free event: Check your email daily or bookmark the speaker schedule to access the interviews. These sessions are available for 24 hours, so set time aside each day to participate. On Friday, there will be a full 24-hour REPLAY if you miss any sessions. You can always upgrade to the All-Access Pass and get all the interviews and free gifts. Check out these...
3 days ago • 1 min read
I got a note from a former client who wanted to share that she no longer experiences guilt when she sets boundaries with her mother. She said it's because she's no longer afraid of guilt. She fully expects to feel it, but instead of being afraid of it, she has an attitude of "bring it on!" She said it's because I once suggested, if she had a choice between guilt and regret, to see what it would be like to choose guilt. So she kept choosing guilt and eventually realized it was a nothing...
7 days ago • 1 min read
Like many malls across the U.S., our local mall closed. Today. A few stores hung on the very end but the vast majority have been gone for well over a year. The good news is that the property was sold to a company that will be using it for engineering and office space. This past winter (which was particularly cold and snowy here in Southeastern Connecticut) mall management opened the doors to anyone who wanted to walk their dogs, so Tim and I took Scout there a few times. There's also a play...
9 days ago • 2 min read
If you were raised by a mother with narcissistic tendencies you don't want to miss a free event created by Pi Venus Winslow: Trusting After Trauma, Redefining Life After Narcissistic Abuse. Pi invited me, along with 15 others in the field, to share our expertise on how to trust after that kind of trauma. I will be sharing the ins and outs of creating Intentional Identity, which is foundational for being able to trust yourself more. If you notice yourself not fully trusting people you want to...
14 days ago • 1 min read
Several years ago I was having some issues mostly related to a post-menopausal lack of estrogen. I’d had three UTIs in six months, not to mention a skin issue that had been plaguing me for well over a year, and which I picked at over and over again to the point that I needed to go on antibiotics. My skin was dry and thinning. The dryness was creating an environment for “bad” bacteria to flourish. The several times I went to Urgent Care, they were nothing but kind and compassionate, even when,...
17 days ago • 2 min read
Question from a reader:My mother and I never had boundaries. I let her control my life up until the day I got sober 10 years ago. Being in recovery, I understand how difficult it is for her to accept the change in me. I also understand that the way she and other family members react to me is on them. Over the years I've helped my mother with health issues. After spending a week with her a month ago I told my brothers I can’t do it any more. For the most part the visit went well. On the last...
about 1 month ago • 2 min read
Gimme a G! G!! Gimme a U! U!! Gimme an I! I!! Gimme an L! L!! Gimme a T! T!! What's it spell? GUILT! Here's another way to spell it: C O N D I T I O N I N G Next time you feel guilty, ask yourself this: Is it guilt? Or is it conditioning? Did I do something that is out of alignment with MY values? Or Is it conditioning? Much, much Love, Karen The Shame School Community is off to a most excellent start. Join us.
about 1 month ago • 1 min read
In yesterday's Love Note (how to care for a narcissistic family member without losing yourself) I wasn't clear about a nuanced subject and inelegantly missed a point. I wrote: If being consistent and upholding our boundaries isn't respected, we feel forced to do something (go no contact) that reflects our deep lack of self-respect: I'm not worth having my boundaries respected. It made sense in my head in the moment, but when I read it later I realized YIKES! That is NOT what I meant. SO!...
about 1 month ago • 1 min read
How To Care For A Narcissistic Family Member Without Losing Yourself (from AARP) When it comes to setting boundaries with someone with narcissistic tendencies, "consistency matters more than persuasion." And that can be frustrating. We want our boundaries to be a "set it and forget it" process. We want her to hear it the first time and comply. And when she doesn't, we get mad at her for not respecting our boundaries...for "making us" repeat ourselves over and over and over again. This next...
about 1 month ago • 1 min read
