Question from a reader: How do I feel less sad and let go of the relationship I wish I had? The context: My mother is constantly critical. I don't think she likes herself (and I am a lot like her). I feel as though I will always be the little kid or dumb one in any situation, and I am 49! I have not told her I have cut ties; I simply avoid her because she has started to be critical of my children to their faces. I don't hate her, but I don't want to stick my hand out to be slapped anymore. I...
5 days ago • 3 min read
I recently participated in Rauhnächte, the ancient "time between the years" ritual in Alpine, Celtic, and Germanic cultures in which you write down 13 wishes on separate pieces of paper and then, starting on December 24, you release one each night (without looking). I lit mine on fire! After 12 nights, you are left with one, and this is the one you are meant to bring into the new year...and make happen. I was gobsmacked when I opened that final wish. When I wrote them down (which I did over...
9 days ago • 2 min read
[New and improved Shame School is coming back soon. Click here to get on the wait list!] “The good dwarves felt pity for the prince and gave him the glass coffin in which Snow White lay. The prince had his servants carry it away on their shoulders. But it happened that one of them stumbled on some brush, and this dislodged from Snow White’s throat the piece of poisoned apple the evil Queen had given her. Not long afterwards, she opened her eyes, lifted the lid from her coffin, sat up, and was...
12 days ago • 3 min read
Are we working together in 2026? If you're at a breaking point in the relationship you have with your mother or your adult daughter and you're not sure how to move forward, let's work together. I am offering $500 off a 12-session package and this offer ends tonight at midnight. Click here to save your spot! ~~~ She can only hear you through the filter of her own reality no matter how clear, honest, and patient you are. What she understands will always reflect her internal world, not your...
18 days ago • 1 min read
Picture this... You haven't seen or spoken to your 85-year-old mother in more than two years (click here for the back story). You get a phone call from an ER nurse in the town where she lives (300 miles from where you live). The nurse asks if [name] is your mother and you say yes. She asks if you're local and you say no. You ask if she can tell you what's going on with your mother and she says no. She says they're deciding whether or not to admit her because they're not sure she should go...
20 days ago • 2 min read
You might be an adult daughter navigating a painful relationship with your mother. You might be a mother trying to break generational patterns. You might be someone who has carried shame for so long you've forgotten what it feels like to flourish. You... Want to dismantle the shame that keeps you small Are willing to face difficult truths with compassion Crave joy but struggle to make it feel safe Need support navigating complex family relationships Are tired of self-help that demands you...
about 1 month ago • 1 min read
[PreS: I am offering $500 off a 12-session package through the end of the year. See below for more] You never have to explain or justify yourself. If you've been conditioned to wait for someone (your mother) to tell you that your decisions are good or bad or right or wrong, then the freedom to choose what you want won't feel like freedom, it will feel like a threat. ~~~ I once worked with a client who wanted to set boundaries with her mother. She had written a letter and planned to read it to...
about 1 month ago • 3 min read
Conversation with a client (with her permission): "Just the thought of setting a boundary with her brings up guilt, shame, responsibility...my mother has health issues and expects me to do everything for her so she can remain living on her own, when she should be in assisted living. She's had this sort of control over me my whole life." I asked her how she wants it to be. "I just want it to be friendly and kind and caring," she said. “I'd like my mom to give a shit about my life, have respect...
about 1 month ago • 1 min read
My husband Tim and our dog Scout are a therapy dog team. At the local hospital Scout's philosophy is: "Every human deserves a visit." You get a visit if you're handcuffed to a gurney in the ER...you get a visit if you're the police officer sitting next to the person handcuffed to the gurney. You get a visit if you've got cancer...you get a visit if you are the nurse administering the chemotherapy. You get a visit if you're the person in the bed dying...you get a visit if you're the family...
about 1 month ago • 2 min read