How To Care For A Narcissistic Family Member Without Losing Yourself (from AARP) When it comes to setting boundaries with someone with narcissistic tendencies, "consistency matters more than persuasion." And that can be frustrating. We want our boundaries to be a "set it and forget it" process. We want her to hear it the first time and comply. And when she doesn't, we get mad at her for not respecting our boundaries...for "making us" repeat ourselves over and over and over again. This next...
2 days ago • 1 min read
I still don't know what I was looking forAnd my time was running wildA million dead-end streetsEvery time I thought I'd got it madeIt seemed the taste was not so sweetSo I turned myself to face me David Bowie ~ Changes I used to chase change. BIG, SIGNIFICANT, OBVIOUS CHANGE. The faster the better. So I could point to it and say, "See? I've learned. I've changed. I've improved. Now I am worthy." You too? Hello survival response. Hello action borne of shame. More recently though, it's the...
6 days ago • 1 min read
Being human and all, we have this tendency to make meaning of Every. Single. Thing. What other people do. What other people say. What we say to ourselves. [about ourselves] The sensations we feel in our bodies. This is normal and it's what helps us survive. We feel hunger, we eat. We feel tired, we sleep. We sense danger, we protect. Our bodies and brains are so highly evolved. And we've been conditioned to NOT pay attention to... or honor... or trust... those sensations. We've been...
7 days ago • 1 min read
So get this. I scheduled two "open house" Zoom calls for people who wanted to learn more about the Shame School Community. One was scheduled for 1 p.m. yesterday and the next one is scheduled for February 24, at 4 p.m. Eastern (click here to add it to your calendar). I didn't get any notifications informing me that anyone had registered so I assumed no one was interested (and yes, underlying that thought were other, not-so-benign thoughts). I almost didn't even sign in for the call. But...
12 days ago • 1 min read
*her disappointment is hers, not yours. Much, much love, Karen Join the Shame School Community
13 days ago • 1 min read
In the movie The Sixth Sense, a young boy named Cole Sear can see and talk to the dead. "I see dead people," he says to the psychologist he sees. Cole says the dead walk around like regular people, but they don't see each other and they don't know they're dead. His gift was distressing to him and he often felt isolated because of it. Cole eventually overcomes his fear of the ghosts that visit him and is able to help them find closure. I see shamed people. I can see and talk to them...they...
14 days ago • 1 min read
If you've been thinking about joining the Shame School Community but are hesitating, I've got you. I will be hanging out on Zoom on Thursday, February 19 at 1 p.m. Eastern and then again on Tuesday February 24 at 4 p.m. Eastern. Come say hello, meet me, and get your questions answered. I would love to get to know you (even if just a little bit :-). Click here to add the February 19 call to your calendar Click here to add the February 24 call to your calendar I don't do pressure. Much, much...
16 days ago • 1 min read
That moment when someone with narcissistic behavior (who has no idea about your mother, your background, or what you do for a living) tries their shit on you and you're like "hold my beer." ~~~ I live in a small, relatively new neighborhood with 14 homes and a Homeowner's Association (HOA), which is required because there are seven acres of common area that need to be maintained according to the town's ordinances. From the get-go there's been ONE neighbor who seems hellbent on making trouble:...
20 days ago • 1 min read
After two-and-half years of no contact, my mother reached out to me via email. I had a feeling I might hear from her after I received a call from an ER nurse in the town where my she lives (300 miles from where I live). My mother doesn't know the nurse called me. At the time, I did nothing, as nothing was being asked of me. In her email to me, she said she wanted to have a conversation about her future plans as she is getting older and asked me to call her, which I did. We had basically the...
27 days ago • 2 min read