I received many responses to "when your mother hates you" and wanted to share this one: "...it goes both ways. It's only human of us to hate them sometimes, too. I actually made an ENORMOUS stride of progress a couple months ago when I admitted to myself I was feeling hatred toward my mother. I was in an awful but all too familiar moment of anger and frustration towards her, and I can't remember if I said it out loud to myself or just in my head, but the words were, "I hate her." Immediately...

She was celebrating a significant career achievement at a large public event where she would be honored and where she was keynote speaker. As she was leaving the hotel suite where colleagues, friends, and family had gathered prior to the event, her mother, who was behind her, yelled out: "You know...you look fat in that dress!" She froze. Then had the wherewithal to turn and say, her voice taut with pain, "MOTHER!" before rushing to a restroom where she cried as a friend consoled her. Later,...

I will never forget the time someone suggested that I "take responsibility" for the emotional pain I was experiencing in regards to my mother. I was simultaneously furious and full of dread. Furious because I thought taking responsibility meant it was my fault. Underneath that (unbeknownst to me) was shame. Full of dread because I suspected it would require some sort of massive change on my part, that I didn't know how to change, that ultimately I wouldn't be able to, and I would continue to...