Author of You Are Not Your Mother: Releasing Generational Trauma & Shame and Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters: A Guide for Separation, Liberation & Inspiration
who are you beyond the shame you experience?
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I was silent discoing on the boardwalk yesterday afternoon, reveling in how totally alive I feel when I partake of this relatively-new-to-me activity when a thought barged in: "It's about time you figured this out...too bad it took you until your 60s." Insert sad trombone sound here. I nearly stopped in my tracks and said to myself, "Seriously? That's what you're going to offer me?" But I didn't want to have a full-blown argument with myself, so I simply reminded myself: "How human of me...of course that's where my brain wants to go sometimes." Because here's the thing: I have two identities that sit alongside each other – shame-based Pathetic Loser Eeyore who mopes through life with her head down and intentional Silent Disco Queen who expresses whatever joy wants to flow through her. I mean, I contain multitudes, but for much of my life Eeyore was the default, while Queen was nowhere to be found until I sought her out on purpose. Being able to say to ourselves, in a self-shaming moment, "How human of me..." is an act of re-mothering. Seeking out our favorite selves on purpose is an act of re-mothering. Creating safety so our favorite selves can express themselves is an act of re-mothering. These are skills I share in the next Cycle Breaker Summit (complete with a downloadable worksheet to help you take this practice deeper). By cycle breakers for cycle breakers, the mission of the next Cycle Breaker Summit is to help you re-parent yourself. Over four days (December 9 - 12), 20+ compassionate presenters will share honest approaches to help you remember, embrace, and be your favorite self. The best part? It's free to attend. Click here to get your free ticket. As well, I’ll be doing a Facebook Live answering questions with some of the other participants on Monday, December 9th at 12 noon Pacific/3 p.m. Eastern. Would love to "meet" you there. Much, much love, Karen P.S. If you're on the waitlist for Shame School, stay tuned for a special Black Friday offer (on November 29) for the next round, which starts in February. |
Karen C.L. Anderson
Author of You Are Not Your Mother: Releasing Generational Trauma & Shame and Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters: A Guide for Separation, Liberation & Inspiration
I recently participated in Rauhnächte, the ancient "time between the years" ritual in Alpine, Celtic, and Germanic cultures in which you write down 13 wishes on separate pieces of paper and then, starting on December 24, you release one each night (without looking). I lit mine on fire! After 12 nights, you are left with one, and this is the one you are meant to bring into the new year...and make happen. I was gobsmacked when I opened that final wish. When I wrote them down (which I did over...
[New and improved Shame School is coming back soon. Click here to get on the wait list!] “The good dwarves felt pity for the prince and gave him the glass coffin in which Snow White lay. The prince had his servants carry it away on their shoulders. But it happened that one of them stumbled on some brush, and this dislodged from Snow White’s throat the piece of poisoned apple the evil Queen had given her. Not long afterwards, she opened her eyes, lifted the lid from her coffin, sat up, and was...
Are we working together in 2026? If you're at a breaking point in the relationship you have with your mother or your adult daughter and you're not sure how to move forward, let's work together. I am offering $500 off a 12-session package and this offer ends tonight at midnight. Click here to save your spot! ~~~ She can only hear you through the filter of her own reality no matter how clear, honest, and patient you are. What she understands will always reflect her internal world, not your...