Founder of Shame School and author of You Are Not Your Mother: Releasing Generational Trauma & Shame and Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters: A Guide for Separation, Liberation & Inspiration
who are you beyond the shame you experience?
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I was silent discoing on the boardwalk yesterday afternoon, reveling in how totally alive I feel when I partake of this relatively-new-to-me activity when a thought barged in: "It's about time you figured this out...too bad it took you until your 60s." Insert sad trombone sound here. I nearly stopped in my tracks and said to myself, "Seriously? That's what you're going to offer me?" But I didn't want to have a full-blown argument with myself, so I simply reminded myself: "How human of me...of course that's where my brain wants to go sometimes." Because here's the thing: I have two identities that sit alongside each other – shame-based Pathetic Loser Eeyore who mopes through life with her head down and intentional Silent Disco Queen who expresses whatever joy wants to flow through her. I mean, I contain multitudes, but for much of my life Eeyore was the default, while Queen was nowhere to be found until I sought her out on purpose. Being able to say to ourselves, in a self-shaming moment, "How human of me..." is an act of re-mothering. Seeking out our favorite selves on purpose is an act of re-mothering. Creating safety so our favorite selves can express themselves is an act of re-mothering. These are skills I share in the next Cycle Breaker Summit (complete with a downloadable worksheet to help you take this practice deeper). By cycle breakers for cycle breakers, the mission of the next Cycle Breaker Summit is to help you re-parent yourself. Over four days (December 9 - 12), 20+ compassionate presenters will share honest approaches to help you remember, embrace, and be your favorite self. The best part? It's free to attend. Click here to get your free ticket. As well, I’ll be doing a Facebook Live answering questions with some of the other participants on Monday, December 9th at 12 noon Pacific/3 p.m. Eastern. Would love to "meet" you there. Much, much love, Karen P.S. If you're on the waitlist for Shame School, stay tuned for a special Black Friday offer (on November 29) for the next round, which starts in February. |
Karen C.L. Anderson
Founder of Shame School and author of You Are Not Your Mother: Releasing Generational Trauma & Shame and Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters: A Guide for Separation, Liberation & Inspiration
Someone recently called me out for being hypocritical because in one day I posted what they saw as two opposing opinions: one was about living a life so saturated in love that no one can convince you to hate, and the other was about cutting ties with...certain people. The person identified themselves as one of those "certain people" and then went on to tell me how good they are because of the volunteer work they do, and so on. It made me glad I've done my shadow work around being...
I have a like/dislike relationship with AI. I dislike it for a few reasons, not the least of which is that four of my copyrighted books were illegally downloaded from pirated databases to "teach" AI large-language models. There's also a bit of "I'm old and can't deal with the pace of technology so get off my lawn" energy in there too. ;-) I like it because it allows us to do things like this. This is my current self holding my four-year-old self (if you want to make one for yourself, keep...
...that Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche, whom I quoted in my previous email, had a history of sexual abuse and rape of both women and men. Thank you to those who shared this with me. Much, much love, Karen