It's been three weeks and two days since my double mastectomy (thank you for all the good wishes...I am doing great!).

The TL;DR is that I had non-invasive DCIS (ductal carcinoma in situ) in my right breast. After a lumpectomy to remove it at the end of October (and a plan to have radiation and to take an estrogen blocker, which I really, really didn't to do), my right breast became so severely deformed that there was no real choice but to remove it.

After a consultation with a breast cancer surgeon and a plastic surgeon, I decided to have both breasts removed with an "aesthetic flat closure" (no reconstruction). I was very much at peace with this decision.

And when the pathology came back, I had one of those WOW moments because they found a more complicated and less detectable form of pre-cancer in my left breast (atypical lobular hyperplasia).

The final report: "No residual DCIS and normal (negative) lymph nodes in right breast. Left breast had some pre-cancer (atypical lobular hyperplasia). Removing it solves this risk problem."

I am so grateful to – and proud of – myself and the work I have done to separate myself from my mother's control, criticism, and contempt, to unshame myself and my choices, and to create safety, trust, and acceptance.

It has made all the difference on this journey-schmourney*.

Much, much love,

Karen

*I admit to having a dislike of the term "journey" when it comes to stuff like this and in a moment of silliness, a friend called it a journey-schmourney and I told her I would forever use it in the future :-)

P.S. I'd love to hear whatever conundrums or thorny issues you'd like my advice on, whether it be mother-daughter stuff, setting healthy boundaries, unshaming, or something else you're grappling with. Hit reply on this email or click here.