Author of You Are Not Your Mother: Releasing Generational Trauma & Shame and Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters: A Guide for Separation, Liberation & Inspiration
trouble maintaining boundaries?
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If you're having a hard time maintaining boundaries with your mother (or someone else), it might be due to a dynamic neither of you are aware of: She made you responsible for her emotional experience and you agreed that it's your job. Your boundary makes her uncomfortable. Her discomfort with your boundary makes you uncomfortable. And because she's your mother, her discomfort "wins." And your boundary goes POOF! Once you see the dynamic, it's relatively simple to correct. The harder part is that you will probably feel uncomfortable doing it. Join me for a two-hour workshop on Thursday, April 30 from 1 - 3 p.m. Eastern where we will:
Cost is $40 and there will be a replay! Much, much love, Karen |
Karen C.L. Anderson
Author of You Are Not Your Mother: Releasing Generational Trauma & Shame and Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters: A Guide for Separation, Liberation & Inspiration
I have lived my life with an anxious, terrified, shameful whisper in my brain: I am bad and no one likes me. There's no coming back from how bad I am. I can't remember a time it wasn't there. I have also lived my life being naturally engaged, sensitive, creative, generous, courageous, goofy, curious, and intense. I can't remember a time when I wasn't one or more of those things. If you have a similar dichotomy, know this: The things you hate about yourself and the things you love about...
"My mother doesn't understand my boundaries! She doesn't get it when I ask her not to post photos of my kids on social media. She says it's not hurting anything and wants to know why it bothers me. I never know what to say because then I start to question whether I am just trying to punish her. I am so frustrated!" She understands your request, but she rejects your authority to make it. So it makes all the sense in the world that you're frustrated. You're clear about your request. You know...
Do you know someone who tells the same stories over and over again?And you're like, "oh here we go again..."Maybe that someone is you? (pssssst...it's me too)I had a little ah-ha about it the other day. One of the things we do in the Shame School Community is tell stories. I have a specific way of eliciting these stories. I ask for specific details. I look for clues and cues that tell me how their stories land in their bodies. I also tell stories, as an example. Storytelling is part of the...