"My mother doesn't understand my boundaries! She doesn't get it when I ask her not to post photos of my kids on social media. She says it's not hurting anything and wants to know why it bothers me. I never know what to say because then I start to question whether I am just trying to punish her. I am so frustrated!"

She understands your request, but she rejects your authority to make it.

So it makes all the sense in the world that you're frustrated.

You're clear about your request. You know that the more you try and explain or justify it, the more wobbly you'll feel around taking action to enforce it.

But there may also be a part of you that believes you're not allowed to be the authority. That also makes all the sense in the world.

You may value clarity, autonomy, and simplicity. Your may value your children's privacy. You may also value kindness, compassion, and "being a good person/daughter."

Sometimes the most disorienting thing isn't knowing what you value — it's discovering that your values are seemingly at odds with each other.

Loyalty and self-respect can feel mutually exclusive.

Love and resentment can live in the same body at the same time.

Honesty and not blowing up a relationship that matters has you in limbo.

These aren't character flaws. They're collisions. And without a way to navigate them, you default to whatever produces the least immediate discomfort — which is your mother's preferences over your own.

​The workshop I am facilitating on Saturday, June 6, is all about values, but this is not your mother's values workshop :-) We're going to use The Wizard of Oz as our guide.

It's an opportunity to claim your authority. To define and be the author or your values. To embody the energy of those values.

And yes, the values most important to you may seem at odds with each other. For example, two of my core values are dignity and audacity. They are two very different energies. I lean into them in different ways.

Here are two examples:

#1 Pasta...And Breaking The Fury-Devastation-Shame Cycle (leaning into audacity)

#2 Being Sensitive Isn't A Problem (leaning into dignity)

Much, much love,

Karen

​We're Off To See The Wizard - A Values Workshop​

Saturday June 6 (from 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. Eastern) via Zoom

Cost: $149

Your most effective boundaries are based on what you truly value (and how you define that value), not on what others tell you to value or how others define it

You'll come away from this workshop with an understanding of

• what values actually are (and are not)
• the difference between authored values, inherited values, aspirational values, and architectural values
• four exercises to move from theory to embodiment
• how to use these concepts when setting boundaries
• a recording of the workshop
• a simple workbook with the concepts and exercises