Do you know someone who tells the same stories over and over again?
​
And you're like, "oh here we go again..."​
​
Maybe that someone is you?

(pssssst...it's me too)​
​
I had a little ah-ha about it the other day.
​
One of the things we do in the Shame School Community is tell stories. I have a specific way of eliciting these stories. I ask for specific details. I look for clues and cues that tell me how their stories land in their bodies.
​
I also tell stories, as an example. Storytelling is part of the Expression pillar that upholds my Intentional Identity. The other two pillars are Dignity and Audacity.

Sometimes the part of me that carries shame wants to tell the story-teller part of me to "STFU no one wants to hear that stupid little story again."​
​
​But here's the thing (it's not a new thing, and I didn't make it up): you create yourself with every story you tell. Your stories are what reinforce your identity.​
​
So when we tell the same story over and over again, whether we know it or not, we are reinforcing something we want to believe about ourselves.
​
And this isn't about telling only "positive" stories in order to be your "best self." It's not about sugar-coating or gaslighting yourself. It's not about being someone you're not. It's not "showing off" or being a bloviator.

Even if you're telling a "negative" story that other people might perceive as you "playing the victim."
​
Underneath our storytelling is a desire to embody what we say we value. What we value guides our decisions, behavior, and ultimately our identity.

And those of us with controlling, manipulative, and/or abusive mothers who said things like "I know you better than you know yourself" (over and over and over again)... it's no wonder we have a hard time knowing who we are, what we want, what we value, and so on.

That's why I am offering a four-hour Values Workshop. Click here to register (or see below for more details).

Much, much love,

Karen

What: Values Workshop

When: Saturday June 6 (from 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. Eastern)

Where: Zoom

Cost: $149

Why: Your most effective boundaries are based on what you truly value (and how you define that value), not on what others tell you to value or how others define it

You'll come away from this workshop with an understanding of

• what values actually are (and are not)
• the difference between authored values, inherited values, aspirational values, and architectural values
• four exercises to move from theory to embodiment
• how to use these concepts when setting boundaries
• a recording of the workshop
• a simple workbook with the concepts and exercises