The Shame Whispereruthor of You Are Not Your Mother: Releasing Generational Trauma & Shame and Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters: A Guide for Separation, Liberation & Inspiration
on the difference between joy and happiness
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Brittney Cooper on the difference between joy and happiness: "Joy is not based on happiness or things going our way or that all is well in the world. Joy is rooted in a deep internal sense of purpose. That we have a reason to show up here and do our work with righteousness and integrity and care. And any time we secure an sustain the conditions to be able to do that, there is a reason for joy. Particularly for those who believe, even in the face of deep injustice, that ultimately justice will prevail." While this quote was part of a larger conversation she had about the election in the U.S., which takes place today, it's pertinent to anyone who is a cycle-breaker and/or who is reckoning with shame. Many of us were taught to pursue a happiness that was prescribed for us, rather than a joy we define. ~~~ I was featured on my publisher's new website, answering questions you might like the answers to, including how being raised by a narcissistic mother affected me personally, and what the relationship between the mind and the body is and how it plays a role in overcoming trauma (my answer might surprise you). ~~~ Speaking of joy, here's our girl Scout this past Sunday. Much, much love (and joy), Karen |
Karen C.L. Anderson
The Shame Whispereruthor of You Are Not Your Mother: Releasing Generational Trauma & Shame and Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters: A Guide for Separation, Liberation & Inspiration
You might be an adult daughter navigating a painful relationship with your mother. You might be a mother trying to break generational patterns. You might be someone who has carried shame for so long you've forgotten what it feels like to flourish. You... Want to dismantle the shame that keeps you small Are willing to face difficult truths with compassion Crave joy but struggle to make it feel safe Need support navigating complex family relationships Are tired of self-help that demands you...
[PreS: I am offering $500 off a 12-session package through the end of the year. See below for more] You never have to explain or justify yourself. If you've been conditioned to wait for someone (your mother) to tell you that your decisions are good or bad or right or wrong, then the freedom to choose what you want won't feel like freedom, it will feel like a threat. ~~~ I once worked with a client who wanted to set boundaries with her mother. She had written a letter and planned to read it to...
Conversation with a client (with her permission): "Just the thought of setting a boundary with her brings up guilt, shame, responsibility...my mother has health issues and expects me to do everything for her so she can remain living on her own, when she should be in assisted living. She's had this sort of control over me my whole life." I asked her how she wants it to be. "I just want it to be friendly and kind and caring," she said. “I'd like my mom to give a shit about my life, have respect...