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Brittney Cooper on the difference between joy and happiness: "Joy is not based on happiness or things going our way or that all is well in the world. Joy is rooted in a deep internal sense of purpose. That we have a reason to show up here and do our work with righteousness and integrity and care. And any time we secure an sustain the conditions to be able to do that, there is a reason for joy. Particularly for those who believe, even in the face of deep injustice, that ultimately justice will prevail." While this quote was part of a larger conversation she had about the election in the U.S., which takes place today, it's pertinent to anyone who is a cycle-breaker and/or who is reckoning with shame. Many of us were taught to pursue a happiness that was prescribed for us, rather than a joy we define. ~~~ I was featured on my publisher's new website, answering questions you might like the answers to, including how being raised by a narcissistic mother affected me personally, and what the relationship between the mind and the body is and how it plays a role in overcoming trauma (my answer might surprise you). ~~~ Speaking of joy, here's our girl Scout this past Sunday. Much, much love (and joy), Karen |
Author of You Are Not Your Mother: Releasing Generational Trauma & Shame and Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters: A Guide for Separation, Liberation & Inspiration
Today (January 31) is the last day to save $250 and get a bonus 1:1 session with me when you join the The Shame School Community. The Shame School Community is a 52-week excursion into the heart of shame: what it is, where it comes from, the myths around it, how it impacts us, and how we can transform our relationship to it and live (mostly*) free from it(*I can't promise complete and total freedom, but I can tell you that when when it does show up it won't impact you the same way) The Shame...
You can put it down now.
You don't have to hold a grudge. You don't have to (forever) take her behavior personally. You also don't have to have a reason that makes sense to others in order to establish a boundary (or go no contact). You don't have to ask if you're overreacting. You don't have to wonder if what you're feeling is "normal." You don't have to have proof that her behavior could or should be deemed "rude." You can simply decide that your her behavior doesn't work for you. And sometimes, in order to stop...