Author of You Are Not Your Mother: Releasing Generational Trauma & Shame and Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters: A Guide for Separation, Liberation & Inspiration
focus on being a joy and a delight to yourself...
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...rather than on being a disappointment to her. If it's hard, remember, not only were you taught not to focus on being a joy and a delight to yourself, you were probably actively discouraged from it. From earliest childhood those of us socialized as women were taught and persuaded to survey everything we are and everything we do in terms of how we appear to others. Our own sense of being in ourselves is supplanted by a sense of being appreciated by others. Others act and we...appear. Others look at us. We watch ourselves being looked at. This determines not only most relations between men and women, but also the relation of women to themselves and to other women, including our mothers and daughters. It is never too late to be focused on being a joy and a delight to yourself. This is the work of re-parenting on a deep level and I share an exercise that will help you do it in the next Cycle Breaker Summit (complete with a downloadable worksheet). This free event runs December 9 - 12. Click here to get your free ticket. Much, much love, Karen |
Karen C.L. Anderson
Author of You Are Not Your Mother: Releasing Generational Trauma & Shame and Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters: A Guide for Separation, Liberation & Inspiration
IMPORTANT Pre-S: As of November 1, I will no longer be using Kit to send my Love Notes. Find me here: The Shame Whisperer "Who do you think you are?! The universe doesn't revolve around you!" Did your mother ever say that one? Mine did. Over time, it became part of an internalized, shame-based identity: "I'm a self spoiled brat." I hear it much differently now. I hear projection (putting her own hidden feelings onto me) and resentment (which is a part of envy). To decenter means shifting your...
I once worked with a (physical) pain coach. The quick version of my story is that I have experienced chronic pain since around 2009, which is when I was diagnosed with Lyme disease. Not to mention childhood trauma, hypervigilence, and a previously unchecked desire to prove something (which took the form of being a badass at the gym). Since then I've done all sorts of things: chiropractic, massage, acupuncture, Advil, naturopathic care, alopathic care, exercise, stretching, yoga...all with...
...that you can now join the Shame School Community on a monthly subscription basis ($75/month, cancel any time). Format: Community Zoom calls several times a month at various times to accommodate different schedules and timezones, for connection, coaching, questions, discussion, and celebration Community: The Shame School Community is hosted on the Heartbeat platform, which includes comprehensive course material (see next bullet), a place to gather and share, and a calendar of all calls and...