Author of You Are Not Your Mother: Releasing Generational Trauma & Shame and Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters: A Guide for Separation, Liberation & Inspiration
focus on being a joy and a delight to yourself...
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...rather than on being a disappointment to her. If it's hard, remember, not only were you taught not to focus on being a joy and a delight to yourself, you were probably actively discouraged from it. From earliest childhood those of us socialized as women were taught and persuaded to survey everything we are and everything we do in terms of how we appear to others. Our own sense of being in ourselves is supplanted by a sense of being appreciated by others. Others act and we...appear. Others look at us. We watch ourselves being looked at. This determines not only most relations between men and women, but also the relation of women to themselves and to other women, including our mothers and daughters. It is never too late to be focused on being a joy and a delight to yourself. This is the work of re-parenting on a deep level and I share an exercise that will help you do it in the next Cycle Breaker Summit (complete with a downloadable worksheet). This free event runs December 9 - 12. Click here to get your free ticket. Much, much love, Karen |
Karen C.L. Anderson
Author of You Are Not Your Mother: Releasing Generational Trauma & Shame and Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters: A Guide for Separation, Liberation & Inspiration
That moment when someone with narcissistic behavior (who has no idea about your mother, your background, or what you do for a living) tries their shit on you and you're like "hold my beer." ~~~ I live in a small, relatively new neighborhood with 14 homes and a Homeowner's Association (HOA), which is required because there are seven acres of common area that need to be maintained according to the town's ordinances. From the get-go there's been ONE neighbor who seems hellbent on making trouble:...
After two-and-half years of no contact, my mother reached out to me via email. I had a feeling I might hear from her after I received a call from an ER nurse in the town where my she lives (300 miles from where I live). My mother doesn't know the nurse called me. At the time, I did nothing, as nothing was being asked of me. In her email to me, she said she wanted to have a conversation about her future plans as she is getting older and asked me to call her, which I did. We had basically the...
Today (January 31) is the last day to save $250 and get a bonus 1:1 session with me when you join the The Shame School Community. The Shame School Community is a 52-week excursion into the heart of shame: what it is, where it comes from, the myths around it, how it impacts us, and how we can transform our relationship to it and live (mostly*) free from it(*I can't promise complete and total freedom, but I can tell you that when when it does show up it won't impact you the same way) The Shame...