Author of You Are Not Your Mother: Releasing Generational Trauma & Shame and Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters: A Guide for Separation, Liberation & Inspiration
focus on being a joy and a delight to yourself...
|
...rather than on being a disappointment to her. If it's hard, remember, not only were you taught not to focus on being a joy and a delight to yourself, you were probably actively discouraged from it. From earliest childhood those of us socialized as women were taught and persuaded to survey everything we are and everything we do in terms of how we appear to others. Our own sense of being in ourselves is supplanted by a sense of being appreciated by others. Others act and we...appear. Others look at us. We watch ourselves being looked at. This determines not only most relations between men and women, but also the relation of women to themselves and to other women, including our mothers and daughters. It is never too late to be focused on being a joy and a delight to yourself. This is the work of re-parenting on a deep level and I share an exercise that will help you do it in the next Cycle Breaker Summit (complete with a downloadable worksheet). This free event runs December 9 - 12. Click here to get your free ticket. Much, much love, Karen |
Karen C.L. Anderson
Author of You Are Not Your Mother: Releasing Generational Trauma & Shame and Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters: A Guide for Separation, Liberation & Inspiration
You can put it down now.
You don't have to hold a grudge. You don't have to (forever) take her behavior personally. You also don't have to have a reason that makes sense to others in order to establish a boundary (or go no contact). You don't have to ask if you're overreacting. You don't have to wonder if what you're feeling is "normal." You don't have to have proof that her behavior could or should be deemed "rude." You can simply decide that your her behavior doesn't work for you. And sometimes, in order to stop...
I've received a bunch of questions about the Shame School Community and I've got answers :-) Can you share a "sample curriculum?" There will be 52 weekly, bite-sized lessons, practices, tools, activities, writing prompts that fall into four categories: general, creating safety, creating intentional identity, and creating healthy boundaries. Each lesson explores concepts and different ways to put them into practice because not everyone resonates with the same techniques and practices. Each...