Author of You Are Not Your Mother: Releasing Generational Trauma & Shame and Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters: A Guide for Separation, Liberation & Inspiration
focus on being a joy and a delight to yourself...
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...rather than on being a disappointment to her. If it's hard, remember, not only were you taught not to focus on being a joy and a delight to yourself, you were probably actively discouraged from it. From earliest childhood those of us socialized as women were taught and persuaded to survey everything we are and everything we do in terms of how we appear to others. Our own sense of being in ourselves is supplanted by a sense of being appreciated by others. Others act and we...appear. Others look at us. We watch ourselves being looked at. This determines not only most relations between men and women, but also the relation of women to themselves and to other women, including our mothers and daughters. It is never too late to be focused on being a joy and a delight to yourself. This is the work of re-parenting on a deep level and I share an exercise that will help you do it in the next Cycle Breaker Summit (complete with a downloadable worksheet). This free event runs December 9 - 12. Click here to get your free ticket. Much, much love, Karen |
Karen C.L. Anderson
Author of You Are Not Your Mother: Releasing Generational Trauma & Shame and Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters: A Guide for Separation, Liberation & Inspiration
Trusting After Trauma - Redefining Relationships After Parental Narcissistic Abuse starts tomorrow! Here’s how to get the most out of this free event: Check your email daily or bookmark the speaker schedule to access the interviews. These sessions are available for 24 hours, so set time aside each day to participate. On Friday, there will be a full 24-hour REPLAY if you miss any sessions. You can always upgrade to the All-Access Pass and get all the interviews and free gifts. Check out these...
I got a note from a former client who wanted to share that she no longer experiences guilt when she sets boundaries with her mother. She said it's because she's no longer afraid of guilt. She fully expects to feel it, but instead of being afraid of it, she has an attitude of "bring it on!" She said it's because I once suggested, if she had a choice between guilt and regret, to see what it would be like to choose guilt. So she kept choosing guilt and eventually realized it was a nothing...
Like many malls across the U.S., our local mall closed. Today. A few stores hung on the very end but the vast majority have been gone for well over a year. The good news is that the property was sold to a company that will be using it for engineering and office space. This past winter (which was particularly cold and snowy here in Southeastern Connecticut) mall management opened the doors to anyone who wanted to walk their dogs, so Tim and I took Scout there a few times. There's also a play...