Author of You Are Not Your Mother: Releasing Generational Trauma & Shame and Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters: A Guide for Separation, Liberation & Inspiration
focus on being a joy and a delight to yourself...
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...rather than on being a disappointment to her. If it's hard, remember, not only were you taught not to focus on being a joy and a delight to yourself, you were probably actively discouraged from it. From earliest childhood those of us socialized as women were taught and persuaded to survey everything we are and everything we do in terms of how we appear to others. Our own sense of being in ourselves is supplanted by a sense of being appreciated by others. Others act and we...appear. Others look at us. We watch ourselves being looked at. This determines not only most relations between men and women, but also the relation of women to themselves and to other women, including our mothers and daughters. It is never too late to be focused on being a joy and a delight to yourself. This is the work of re-parenting on a deep level and I share an exercise that will help you do it in the next Cycle Breaker Summit (complete with a downloadable worksheet). This free event runs December 9 - 12. Click here to get your free ticket. Much, much love, Karen |
Karen C.L. Anderson
Author of You Are Not Your Mother: Releasing Generational Trauma & Shame and Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters: A Guide for Separation, Liberation & Inspiration
So get this. I scheduled two "open house" Zoom calls for people who wanted to learn more about the Shame School Community. One was scheduled for 1 p.m. yesterday and the next one is scheduled for February 24, at 4 p.m. Eastern (click here to add it to your calendar). I didn't get any notifications informing me that anyone had registered so I assumed no one was interested (and yes, underlying that thought were other, not-so-benign thoughts). I almost didn't even sign in for the call. But...
*her disappointment is hers, not yours. Much, much love, Karen Join the Shame School Community
In the movie The Sixth Sense, a young boy named Cole Sear can see and talk to the dead. "I see dead people," he says to the psychologist he sees. Cole says the dead walk around like regular people, but they don't see each other and they don't know they're dead. His gift was distressing to him and he often felt isolated because of it. Cole eventually overcomes his fear of the ghosts that visit him and is able to help them find closure. I see shamed people. I can see and talk to them...they...