Author of You Are Not Your Mother: Releasing Generational Trauma & Shame and Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters: A Guide for Separation, Liberation & Inspiration
focus on being a joy and a delight to yourself...
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...rather than on being a disappointment to her. If it's hard, remember, not only were you taught not to focus on being a joy and a delight to yourself, you were probably actively discouraged from it. From earliest childhood those of us socialized as women were taught and persuaded to survey everything we are and everything we do in terms of how we appear to others. Our own sense of being in ourselves is supplanted by a sense of being appreciated by others. Others act and we...appear. Others look at us. We watch ourselves being looked at. This determines not only most relations between men and women, but also the relation of women to themselves and to other women, including our mothers and daughters. It is never too late to be focused on being a joy and a delight to yourself. This is the work of re-parenting on a deep level and I share an exercise that will help you do it in the next Cycle Breaker Summit (complete with a downloadable worksheet). This free event runs December 9 - 12. Click here to get your free ticket. Much, much love, Karen |
Karen C.L. Anderson
Author of You Are Not Your Mother: Releasing Generational Trauma & Shame and Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters: A Guide for Separation, Liberation & Inspiration
If you were raised by a mother with narcissistic tendencies you don't want to miss a free event created by Pi Venus Winslow: Trusting After Trauma, Redefining Life After Narcissistic Abuse. Pi invited me, along with 15 others in the field, to share our expertise on how to trust after that kind of trauma. I will be sharing the ins and outs of creating Intentional Identity, which is foundational for being able to trust yourself more. If you notice yourself not fully trusting people you want to...
Several years ago I was having some issues mostly related to a post-menopausal lack of estrogen. I’d had three UTIs in six months, not to mention a skin issue that had been plaguing me for well over a year, and which I picked at over and over again to the point that I needed to go on antibiotics. My skin was dry and thinning. The dryness was creating an environment for “bad” bacteria to flourish. The several times I went to Urgent Care, they were nothing but kind and compassionate, even when,...
Question from a reader:My mother and I never had boundaries. I let her control my life up until the day I got sober 10 years ago. Being in recovery, I understand how difficult it is for her to accept the change in me. I also understand that the way she and other family members react to me is on them. Over the years I've helped my mother with health issues. After spending a week with her a month ago I told my brothers I can’t do it any more. For the most part the visit went well. On the last...