The meme said: "Be kind and full of love...but have boundaries like a motherf-er."

Here’s what it gets wrong: there's no "but."

Healthy boundaries ARE – in and of themselves – kind and full of love.

They make room for anger.

After more than a decade of helping women take care of themselves in the relationship they have with their mothers (including myself), here's what I know for sure:

It's messy.

There's no perfect answer.

There's no precise way to do it.

All you can do is be human (a human with healthy boundaries).

And it's hard (sometimes).

And it's enough.

And it's beautiful.

What's possible?

Self-trust.

Anger you can trust, hold, and wield intentionally.

Compassion you can also trust (because I know you're sometimes afraid to feel compassion...because you're afraid that if you feel compassion you won't uphold your boundaries).

The opposite is true.

Much, much love,

Karen