Author of You Are Not Your Mother: Releasing Generational Trauma & Shame and Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters: A Guide for Separation, Liberation & Inspiration
you don't need that much "bad"
|
I got a note from a former client who wanted to share that she no longer experiences guilt when she sets boundaries with her mother. She said it's because she's no longer afraid of guilt. She fully expects to feel it, but instead of being afraid of it, she has an attitude of "bring it on!" She said it's because I once suggested, if she had a choice between guilt and regret, to see what it would be like to choose guilt. So she kept choosing guilt and eventually realized it was a nothing burger. ~~~ Healing isn't about becoming perfect and never feeling "bad*." It's about your capacity to feel "bad." [*bad = guilt, anger, fear, anxiety, boredom, blah, meh, insert the feeling you don't like feeling here] I currently feel "bad." Blah. Meh. Bored. It's so tempting to feel bad about feeling bad. To double the bad. And then I remind myself: Karen, you don’t need that much bad. :-) Ding Ding Ding (thanks Elizabeth for this bruitiful memory) Much, much love, Karen P.S. If you were raised by a mother with narcissistic tendencies, and you find yourself feeling bad about feeling bad, you don't want to miss a free event created by Pi Venus Winslow: Trusting After Trauma: Redefining Life After Narcissistic Abuse |
Karen C.L. Anderson
Author of You Are Not Your Mother: Releasing Generational Trauma & Shame and Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters: A Guide for Separation, Liberation & Inspiration
Like many malls across the U.S., our local mall closed. Today. A few stores hung on the very end but the vast majority have been gone for well over a year. The good news is that the property was sold to a company that will be using it for engineering and office space. This past winter (which was particularly cold and snowy here in Southeastern Connecticut) mall management opened the doors to anyone who wanted to walk their dogs, so Tim and I took Scout there a few times. There's also a play...
If you were raised by a mother with narcissistic tendencies you don't want to miss a free event created by Pi Venus Winslow: Trusting After Trauma, Redefining Life After Narcissistic Abuse. Pi invited me, along with 15 others in the field, to share our expertise on how to trust after that kind of trauma. I will be sharing the ins and outs of creating Intentional Identity, which is foundational for being able to trust yourself more. If you notice yourself not fully trusting people you want to...
Several years ago I was having some issues mostly related to a post-menopausal lack of estrogen. I’d had three UTIs in six months, not to mention a skin issue that had been plaguing me for well over a year, and which I picked at over and over again to the point that I needed to go on antibiotics. My skin was dry and thinning. The dryness was creating an environment for “bad” bacteria to flourish. The several times I went to Urgent Care, they were nothing but kind and compassionate, even when,...