[Pre-S Shame School starts September 16. Click here to get on the wait list.]

It's been a little while :-)

How are ya?

I am fully recovered from my double mastectomy in March and am enjoying the "flat" life way more than I could have imagined.

In fact, I put on my "foobs*" on today because I thought they would make the shirt I was wearing look better, but they didn't. And not only that, they feel so weird. So I took them off.
​
​[*aka fake boobs, aka prosthetics]

And?

This is the longest I've ever gone without sending a Love Note (I've sent more than 750 over the past 10 years).

Lately, every time I sit down to write to you, I get a few words down and then turn away. There are 15(!) drafts sitting in my drafts folder.

Lackadaisical seems like the right word for it, with a side of ants-in-my-pants.

Shame-brain offered me this thought: "there must be something wrong with you."

Catastrophe-brain chimed in with: "you're all washed up, there's nothing more to say."

Over-thinking-brain had this to say: "you just went through an experience that is traumatic for many so it makes sense that you're hunkered down."

But none of those things ring true for me.

I've released* so much in the past two years: shame (ongoing), my mother, my breasts, a big-ass diamond ring, alcohol, and 75 pounds.

[1: "allow or enable to escape from confinement; set free."
2: "allow (something) to move, act, or flow freely."]

I'm content and a bit bored (except when working with clients and when I am Silent Discoing on the Boardwalk and grinning like a giddy child).

Maybe this is the opposite of the whole tortured artist thing?

Nah. What's true is that I am shifting from having to figure it out to living the answer: it's possible to change your relationship to shame in astonishing ways.

To just letting the way be the way.

Much, much love,

Karen

P.S. Here are some things that caught my eye:

​When Empathy Turns Into Control (short video)

​Startling Deathbed Visions & What People Get Wrong About Human Consciousness (Dr. Martha Jo Atkins speaks to Dr. Mayim Bialik about the process of dying, and there's some conversation about how to handle when the dying person was abusive and/or you're estranged from them)

​The Lies That Bind Mothers and Daughters (novel sent to me by the author)

​The Key To A Good Parent-Child Relationship (if you're not no-contact)

​Healing: What They Tell You And What It Actually Is (funny)

​Why Intentional Identity work is helpful (I share this with a content warning that his tone is a bit scolding/shaming, but it's true...and this is part of what we do in Shame School)

​I get triggered (a brief, beautiful reflection of what healing can look like)

​The Emotional Crisis Between Mothers and Daughters (article by Rosjke Hasseldine)